July 9, 2010

Calculus II Quotes Part II

Posted in Humor, Quotes at 10:51 pm by faith786

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

Assalamu Alaikum,

I dug out some more from my notebook:

—“Behind closed doors of my office, I would skip the whole procedure by ignoring the plus 2.”

—“Math is a very cruel and harsh mistress. She is very hard to please.”

(Awkward.)

—“Zeno (mathematician) is a prankster. He is the guy at cocktail parties you would see and go the other way because you knew he was going to ask you a pain in the ass question.”

—“In the answer key the answer is written as log x plus 2 over x minus 3. {log[(x+2)/(x-3)]} You see, when math professors get bored by the pool, they like to mess around with their final answer by simplifyin’ it or moving things around.

—“With imporper integrals, we’re gonna throw infinity around as if it is a number.”

—(My professor is  writing the steps the steps to solve an integral and writes plus 3, but says he is multiplying by 3.)

Me: Can I ask what you plan on multiplying be 3? It would not help you remove the square root.

Professor: Don’t look at what I say! Listen at what I am writing!

HAHAHAHAHA. I have those days.

—“Some times, you look at an integral like this one and you are just like, ‘Damn, I don’t know what to do…'”

=STORY OF CALC II THIS SUMMER

—“Mathematicians invented logarithms because they used to stay up at night with a candle multiplying these big ass numbers and they wanted to get some sleep, so they invented logarithms so they can multiply small numbers and go to sleep.”

—“Faith786, how are you solving number 23?”

(He sent me to the board)

Me: I am rewriting and expanding it to stall time in hopes you would not notice that I do not know the answer.

—“When it comes to limits of infinity, you don’t really care what is happening to the function near the origin. You want to know what is happening (moves to right side of the room) WAY THE HELL OUT THERE. You only care about the tail end of this function.”

—“L’Hopital’s rule was named after him because mathematicians knew he hated what they were researching, so when they got the rule, they decided to name it after L’ Hopital just to piss him off.”

HAHAHAHAHA

—(Literally after making us do two homework problems) “What do you get if you integrate [1/(cabin)] d(cabin)]?”

Student 1: Log cabin

Student 2: Natural log cabin

Professor: “Natural log cabin is hilarious, but it is actually a houseboat.”

Me: Houseboat?

Then my professor writes: ” [1/(cabin)] d(cabin)]= log cabin + sea=houseboat”

(If you know calculus I, you would get it. It would be ln|cabin| + c, so natural log cabin + sea=houseboat)

—“I have this nightmare ever since I watched Ferris Bueller’s Day Off (80’s movie) from that one teacher who asks the class over and over, ‘Are there any questions? Are there any questions?’ And no one responds. I actually wake up in the middle of the night and think about it.”

LOL

—“Faith786, please explain how you are the only person who knew this graph converges?”

Me: I didn’t solve anything. I graphed it and saw it was going to slam into the x axis.

—(After 5 minutes, my professor asked if anyone had an answer. No one responded so he stretches out his arms) “Put answer here.

Student: What is the difference between a vector and a scalar?

Professor: One is a dot and the other is an arrow.

I have three more weeks, so who knows–there might be a part III.

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1 Comment »

  1. Noreen said,

    “Professor: Don’t look at what I say! Listen at what I am writing!”
    aawwww

    “—”L’Hopital’s rule was named after him because mathematicians knew he hated what they were researching, so when they got the rule, they decided to name it after L’ Hopital just to piss him off.””
    LOL XD XD


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