May 11, 2010
My Epiphanies (XVII)
بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم
Looking back at my ‘My Epiphanies’ series, I noticed I do repeat some of my epiphanies but I think that in itself reveals something–we are in the process of learning, relearning, retaining and mastering. So I guess these posts have more meaning for me than for you.
Today’s (this week’s, really) epiphany:
Obviously, this immediately brings my mom in the post because I do not know what makes her love me so much. That has to be Divine. But I am really alluding to what had happened in school recently.
In one of my classes, I fell sick on the last day of class. It kind of interrupted class and my professor did not finish the lesson (or he claims that it had finished before my episode). Things got worked out but the next week during finals, a lot of students from the class were speaking against me behind my back and straight to my face.
Couple students were criticizing my personality, career interests, illness in class, different outlook on life, mannerisms, etc. and I was disheartened. I figured I had nothing good or constructive to say to anyone so I remained silent throughout the day. Later in the afternoon/early evening I went for a walk and eventually it led to the science building where I went to water some plants. (Yes, when in doubt, water plants!)
With two water bottles in my hands and my shoes somehow not underneath my feet, I ran into the professor that teaches the class I got sick in and the students that are unhappy with me. He asked me why I looked sad and I mentioned that I didn’t feel comfortable in his class because a lot of the students don’t feel comfortable with me. The professor was extremely kind to me but he said something in the middle of the conversation that rang in my ears for the rest of the day (almost quoted)–
“Some people cannot tolerate people who are simply different than them.”
And that is when it struck me–it is kind of the same way with God’s love. Just because it isn’t through the typical means we see it, doesn’t mean we should denounce it as something else.
I saw the students’ remarks as painful and marginalizing. But really, it was a Divine Invitation enclosed in a different type of envelope.
First, it was a way to make me look inside myself and bring me back to God. Contentment lies with God.
Second, I get good deeds. =) That looks like God’s love to me!
Third, it humbled me. I can’t think just because I mean well that my actions are completely okay. And humility is an immediate connection to God.
Fourth, I ironed out if my professor was upset or in any way unhappy with me. That may not have occurred if I was not confronted by those students. (Mind you, readers, that I’ll have him for at least four more semesters for my major so I may want to iron this out now….) So at least I made up with one person.
Fifth, I learned two other types of kindness–the power of silence and smiling. And God taught that to me through both examples and through putting me through that kind of criticism.
Sixth, patience. Patience is a special type of love from God because it is one that actually grows rather quickly through patience. It sounds counter-intuitive but in patience, I grew such an appreciation and gratitude towards God.
Seventh, I saw God’s love through the students who were mean to me and the friends who were nice to me (some friends were sticking up for me without me saying anything).
Well, I actually have couple more points, but I think you get the idea.
God’s love never leaves us. It keeps changing and takes on new forms so we keep turning back to God and learn to appreciate Him more and more. There is a beauty in how things happen, but there is also a beauty in how we see them.
So Faith786’s take home message?
God’s Love is ALWAYS with you and keeps taking on new forms.You must have an open heart to see it.
And feel reassured that God is taking care of you.