December 17, 2009

What Faith786 Learned in General Chemistry Semester I

Posted in Chemistry, Humor at 12:07 am by faith786

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

Assalamu Alaikum,

I have come up with a list of things I learned in general chemistry this semester. If I remember more, I’ll add on to this list:

Faith786’s General Chemistry lessons:

—Turn off the heat plate after heating oil to 500+ degrees C.
—Make sure the water in the bulb and buret are equal or else water will shoot out one end, typically the one closer to me.
—A cat can only give birth to one kitten. Not a half a kitten, not an eighth of a kitten, one whole kitten. (In reference to quantum)
—There is a difference between hydrochloric and chloric acid. (HCl and HClO3)
—There is no ideal liquid or solid law… yet.
—Turn the gas off.
—You must shut the buret before moving the flask you finished titrating.
—Tuck my scarf in my shirt or tie it behind my head. It always manages to get in a solution when no one is looking.
—Do not let the spinning magnet hit the thermometer.
—Do not smell metals or stuff in beakers.
—Oxalate is not a swear word, but it sounds like one, “You piece of oxalate!”
—I still don’t know what EDTA is.
—When in doubt, titrate it.
—Just because a phd wrote the lab procedure doesn’t mean it is right.
—You decant when you don’t have filter paper.
—Excel graphs will be in hell.
—“Sig figs must be obeyed.”
—If you will faint, put the beaker on the table.
—If you must eat in lab, do so under the table.
—If I had a good day in math, I will have a bad day in chemistry.
—If I have a low percent error, something went drastically wrong.
—I should always get the same results in lab–I need to keep messing up again and again.
—I will always take up the three hours in lab. No matter how simple the lab is.
—I cannot drive for two hours after any chemistry exam
—Delta H in chemistry is normal force in physics–it is whatever you want it to be.
—I will never understand how chocolate milk, susan boyle, babies, kittens, and cats realte to chemistry. But Homer Simpson, yes, I fully understand how he relates to the first law of thermodynamics.
—I will never eat a marshmallow again and I shall never touch a peep. (Not that I can, really….)
—Chemistry makes me eat unhealthy quantities of gum.
—Make sure the burner is not near the rubber end of the clamp. It will ignite.
—Hana will keep doing the lab over and over until she gets the results she wants.
—My chemistry professor only exclaims in emails or in writing.
—Hana can only concentrate in chemistry if she is eating something.
—Hydrochloric acid (HCl) makes me hungry….
—Lake Michigan not freezing in winter has nothing to do with the specific heat of water–it is due to all the used coffee grounds my professor flushes down the toilet lowers its freezing point.
—Hana will always check her class work answers with my sheet, thinking I am right.
—Do not heat a closed vessel.
—Every molecular structure I draw is wrong.
—In regards to sig figs, “follow your heart.”
—When writing a letter for a lab report question, you will get five points taken off if you forget to put it in proper business format.
—Consolidated Metal’s washers from lab are dirty, scratched up and with all the impurities, it doesn’t have the proper thickness of Zinc
—My professor will skip in the hallways the day I fail a test.
—I know the specific heat capacity of water, the ideal gas law, VSEPR, but I didn’t know that you cannot pour concentrated acid in water.

5 Comments »

  1. Faizy said,

    As Salam O Alaikum,

    This is Mohammed Faizuddin Sheikh, my blog is http://majesticislam.wordpress.com, my vision with MajesticIslam is not much different from yours. Propagation of Islamic principals and teachings that Muhammed (SA) taught to the mankind.

    I have page where I recommend the best of the blogs that provide Islamic teachings (majesticislam.wordpress.com/resource/).

    The general idea however is that I recommend your blog and you recommend mine, this will exchange our readers and the different Islamic information that we have to share.

    Let me know what you think?

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    Fi-Amanillah

  2. naasara said,

    I’m glad you learned something!
    Now you have to unlearn everything to get ready for General Chemistry II.

  3. nora jeffries said,

    love your blog!
    ‘nother piece of advice: dont use slippey material for a scarf

  4. sbalkhy said,

    I think your posts are beryllium! (t)
    How many do u have sul-phur?
    most important “not to do ” thing: do not lick the spoons!

    I zinc i am done 4 now

  5. Anh said,

    hey I am doing free chemistry tutoring at my blog http://askachemistrytutor.blogspot.com/
    just go there and ask questions and join discussions. I’ll try to get back to everyone as soon as I can.


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