September 6, 2009
Pathetic Chemistry Lines *Updated 9/20/09*
بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم
This is for spiderman so that way she can stop harping on me. I don’t have many lines right now, but I will try to add to it later. Most of the lines I found either were too racy or were too loaded with chemistry jargon. And I would like to put a disclaimer that I don’t believe in pick up lines nor do I have any interest in getting into any form of that kind of relationship. But I am really tired and delirious, so this post came to be. I still didn’t finish my lab report AND IT HAS ONLY BEEN ONE WEEK OF SCHOOL.
Pick up lines
If I could rewrite the periodic table, I would put Uranium and Iodide together for U and I. (Online)
My favorite element is uranium because I love U. (Online)
You are so cool that molecules stop in your presence. (Online) *At very cold temperatures, molecules/atoms move slower and at certain temperatures, even stop.
You have a mass and I have a mass. So we are naturally attracted. (Online) *This may be more physics than chemistry as there is a natural law that matter is naturally attracted to one another.
You must be a Copper Tellurium alloy because you are CuTe. (Online)
Will you be the proton to my electron? (Online)
Non pick up lines
YOU ARE JUST A SPECTATOR ION IN MY LIFE. *Spectator Ions have no relevance or change in a reaction and therefore called ‘spectator’ ions.
Chemistry: What we do in the lab would be a felony in your garage. (Online)
Chemistry without biology is inorganic. Biology without chemistry is nothing.
My favorite word is NO. (Online) *N=Nitrogen O=Oxygen
If you are not part of the solution, you are part of the precipitate. *Precipitate=solid or semi solid formed in a reaction that separates from the solution.
Chemistry Rule #1: NEVER lick the spoon.
Chemistry Rule #2: The delicate and expensive glassware ALWAYS breaks first….
Chemistry Rule #3: Cold and hot beakers look alike.
Chemistry Rule #4: If an experiment works, something went wrong.
Chemistry Rule #5: Experience is directly proportional to equipment ruined.
Chemistry Rule #6: In lab, we do not believe in miracles. We rely on them.
Chemistry Rule #7: When you don’t know what you are doing, do it neatly.
Chemistry Rule #8: Teamwork is vital. It allows you to blame someone else.
Chemistry Rule #9: Always keep a record of what you are doing. It indicates that you have been working.
Chemistry Rule #10: Experiments should always be precise; they should always fail. *The story of my life.
Chemistry Rule #11: DO NOT stir your solution with a thermometer while heating it. It WILL blow up!
Chemistry Rule #12: A hot beaker placed in an ice bath will, quite simply, explode.
Chemistry Rule #13: DO NOT make any sudden movements or noise when the teacher/professor is handling 13+ Molar chemicals.
Chemistry Rule #14: If you don’t know, don’t let the lab instructor know you don’t know.
Chemistry Rule #15: If something catches on fire, tell the lab instructor it was already burning when you got there.
Chemistry Rule #16: If you start messing up, place 8 Molar HNO3 in an open beaker and blame it on the fumes.
Chemistry Rule #17: When things start going wrong, make it sound convincing.
Chemistry Rule #18: If you messed up, make the conclusion really long.
Chemistry Rule #20: What happened to #19?
Chemistry Rule #21: Never bite a solid substance to determine its physical properties.
Love is working with chemistry. Is that why (wo)men treat (wo)men like toxic waste? (Online)
If I knew what I was doing, I wouldn’t call it research. (Online)