July 17, 2009

Cynical Quotes

Posted in Humor, Quotes, Social Commentary at 12:37 am by faith786

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

Assalamu Alaikum,

I am in a cynical mood tonight, so I decided to put a few cynical quotes, none of them are by me:

“In a cruel and evil world, being cynical can allow you to get some entertainment out of it.”

“If you’re too open-minded, your brains will fall out.”

“Don’t worry about what people think; they don’t do it very often.”

“Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian, any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.”

“It ain’t the jeans that make your butt look fat.”

“Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.”

“For every action, there is an equal and opposite government program.”

“If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip.”

“A conscience is what hurts when all of your other parts feel so good.”

“A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.”

“Middle age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of the waist change places.”

“Junk is something you’ve kept for years and throw away three weeks before you need it.”

“Someone who thinks logically, provides a nice contrast to the real world.”

“If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you’ve never tried before.”

“Sometimes I need what only you can provide: your absence.”

“I feel so miserable without you; it’s almost like having you here.” (SO TRUE!)

“History teaches us that men and nations behave wisely once they have exhausted all other alternatives.”

“I am free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.”😄

“I never let my schooling interfere with my education.” –Mark Twain

“My opinions may have changed, but not the fact that I’m right.”

“If it doesn’t fit, force it. If it breaks, it needed to be replaced anyway.”

“I hold the key to world peace, but somebody changed the lock!”

“Americans will put up with anything provided it doesn’t block traffic.”

I hope that gave you a laugh!

2 Comments »

  1. asqfish said,

    hahahahahahaha…………….I cant stop laughing! thank you for a light moment!

    My favorites:
    “Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian, any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.”
    and
    “If you’re too open-minded, your brains will fall out.”

    JazaaikAllah Khair!

  2. riziki rajab said,

    wow….its so funny hahahaha….thank you for making me laugh.
    i liked….“Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.”


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