November 12, 2008

My Poems: Final Distance

Posted in Islam, Poetry, Sufism, Taqwa, Tazkiyah at 2:11 pm by faith786

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

Assalamu Alaikum,

IThe  poem relies a lot on symbolism, so don’t take it for face value and I apologize my form. For those of you who were wondering–You is God. The refrain has multiple meanings, but that is up to you to determine.

Final Distance

Yes, yes, no, no,

Keep trying to swim against the flow.

I’m so anxious; I can feel my heart hasten,

I want the distance to lessen.

The tides keep pushing me away,

Little more distance every day.

Yes, yes, no, no,

I get stuck in the web of time’s flow.

This distance is something we can embrace,

Everyday I quicken my pace,

But only You can be the one to let me go.

Yes, yes, no, no.


The drops of time are in Your paintbrush,

When I feel like flickering flames, I feel Your rush.

Yes, yes, no, no–

Only You can let me know.

The ebb of life makes me want so much,

That it can only be quenched by Your touch.

Let us get closer; I want to feel Your glow.

Yes, yes, no, no.

No matter how long I burn in this invisible fire,

I want to be with You, even if I expire.

Yes, yes, no, no–I must break the resistance.

Only You can help me pass the final distance.

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10 Comments »

  1. malrose9389 said,

    I like these random phrases/lines:
    “…stuck in the web of time’s flow.”
    “The ebb of life…”
    “Let us get closer; I want to feel your glow.”

  2. faith786 said,

    I feel honored that you have liked some of th lines in the poem.

    ..I just wonder if you get what the poem means. XD

  3. malrose9389 said,

    Walaikum Assalamu, (perhaps I better have began my comments this way)
    To be honest, no I don’t; I haven’t really put much thought into it. Can you tell?
    Tomorrow, I have an Anthropology presentation, for which I have not yet began preparing for. I better get started!!! 😀
    Wassalam,
    -Mally 🙂

  4. faith786 said,

    Haha. I love how you work.

    Well, I actually thought you might like this poem more than my other poems (not because of the lines you pointed out) but because I think it may apply to you. (Well, that is up to you to determine.)

  5. Noreen said,

    That was a lovely poem. It is very diverse in symbols. Fire, water, paint, web–I like it. I think ‘you’ can be a person or even an idea. Love it!

  6. Tarifa said,

    I like it sounds very spiritual.

  7. Le Mystique said,

    I loved the imagination…the idea…

    But the flow is somewhat hindered by the way ‘yes,yes, no, no’ is used/arranged. The whole poem sounds more like a song (specially a rap song) and there is nothing bad with that but if you want to promote it as a poem you might need to rearrange it a bit…

    Also some lines are a little hard to read such as:

    “But only You can be the one to let me go.”

    Length and arrangement of lines like the above one do not suit the overall image of the poem..

    These lines were so good:

    “The tides keep pushing me away,
    Little more distance every day.”

    It has so much depth in it… so many hidden meanings..

  8. faith786 said,

    Thank you for yoru comments! IT was a rough draft and I will admit that this poem needed a bit more editing to be considered anything. But feel free to comment on anything else. I like your comments/suggestions.

  9. Silent said,

    id b interestd in knwing how u interpret ur poem

  10. faith786 said,

    It is about a person’s relationship with God–or at least, how I felt at the time. Gosh, I need to edit this….


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