August 2, 2008
My Epiphanies (X)
بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم
This is my 100th post. Wow.
Anyway, it didn’t take me long, but I decided to put up the epiphany I had *before* I heard the Shaykh Hamza lecture on Youtube.
Life lately has been rather ‘gray.’ Taking a class on Christianity made me feel sorry for Christians. I do not mean that in a patronizing way, but I feel like their understanding of God hurts them. Although they claim Him being that of Love, which is great, but they also claim He can make mistakes (wa iyathubilah), He can be in human form (meaning, he can use the bathroom and get sick [no offense to Isa as]), and that He is ultimately, imperfect. (super wa iyathubilah)
Plus, I think by Divine providence, I won’t be united with an old friend just yet. (In case you don’t know, the poem I wrote–The Start, was for her.)
Anyway, enough ranting, I decided to sit. I crossed my legs and folded my hands in my lap. After being silent for a long time, I heard my heart beat in my head. I know it sounds cheesy, but I was trying to figure out what it was saying. And soon enough, I started to literally hear, “Allah, Allah, Allah….”
So I stopped to get a grip on reality and I still felt my heart pulsate. It wasn’t as loud or hard, but it was still beating hard enough for me to notice. Then on a random note, I remembered V for Vendetta when the lady did the monologue and said that we as individuals have one inch–and it is purely our own and it is worth fighting for. And I thought, that “inch” is in our heart. I began to realize, my heart knows something I don’t.
Intellect roots from the heart. Not the mind. Our hearts impact our minds. They channel our thoughts and emotions. The heart is what gives reason and morality–not the mind. The mind is secondary; the heart is primary.
And so I felt my heart contract…and then expand. Then I felt my breath–contract and expand my lungs. I remembered Kamran Bhai’s lecture on Science and Scripture Paralleled (another post) and how the universe contracted and now is expanding. God is the Contractor and the Expander. Things around me–even stagnant things–started to *breathe* with life.
The heart is a unique thing and it’s physical and spiritual function is the core of Islam and our creation. It is the center of our gravity (unless you eat a lot) and if it is dead, we are dead. I think every other limb can not function, but you can still live, except the heart.
And our intentions–we feel them come from our heart, not our minds. And intentions are critical in Islam. The heart is a unique organ that cannot be fully understood because I think it is what bridges the physical and spiritual world. There is something about it we can never know, but yet it is so vital to our existence.
I guess where the epiphany was supposed to lead to was the idea that through the heart can we reach Allah, but I also came to realize that the physical heart is a very spiritual thing and a powerful symbol.
(Pause for dramatic effect)
Now if you haven’t already, watch the Shaykh Hamza speech in the post before this.
Please let me know if you actually benefit from my series of epiphanies or if I am wasting my time typing them. Thanks!