June 5, 2008
Cool Random Moments *Updated September 16th, 2009*
Mimi: Sometimes I feel like I want to know why God created us. I want to know why I am here; I want to know if I am real. It… it… to know… is worth dying for!
Me: Then it is certainly worth living for.
Random guy: I don’t think there is God, if He existed then why wouldn’t He show Himself to us?
Me: To say that there is no God is to openly admit that you believe in an effect with no cause, a creation without a creator, an end but no beginning. It is logically more likely He exists and we are just an illusion than we exist and He is an illusion because even an illusion needs something to create it. [9/15/09 EDIT: This is slightly logically unsound, but I said it then, so I am not changing it.]
Random lady in my Islam class (After talking about women being oppressed in Islam, etc.):Why do you wear a scarf?
Me: Why do you wear a shirt?
SARAH’S PERSONAL REQUEST:
Guy: Are you allowed to have premarital s*x?
Guy: So Muslims practice celibacy?
Me: Only before marriage.
Guy: So what is your opinion on s*x?
Me: I believe it is an invasion of privacy.
Girl: I love you!
Me: Well I don’t.
Carly: You are one of the most genuine people I have ever met.
Me: I won’t lie it; I would be conceited about it if it were true. (Think about this one.)
Guy: Is your father a terrorist because you are the bomb!
Me: Is your father a republican because you are an IDIOT.
Girl: Do you believe love exists? What if it is all a hoax? We can’t see it, touch it or smell it….
Me: Do you think wind exists? You can’t see it, touch it or smell it… but you can feel it.
Girl: I hate my life.
Me: So do I. (Think about this one too.)
Laura: I don’t believe in an afterlife-there is no physical proof it exists.
Me: Do you believe that you have a soul?
Me: Well, there is no physical proof it exists.
Girl: Have you ever fallen in love?
Me: I don’t fall in love; mine only grows.
Odd Dressed Guy: Did you ever have a boyfriend?
Me: (scornfully) No, have you?
Guy: Yeah but we weren’t meant for eachother.
Professor: Do you (as a Muslim girl) feel oppressed in American society?
Me: No, in fact, I feel more liberated than any other religious denomination in America. Muslim women always had more rights than other women until 100 years ago and even in the past 100 years, non Muslim women found a new way to imprison themselves.
Professor: And what is that?
Me: I don’t think I will ever hear the day a professor will publicly admit that he or she doesn’t care about the right answer but what he or she wants to hear–
(interrupted) Professor (to the class): I hope you all understand that when I am grading your reports, it isn’t really about the right answer, but what the professor thinks is the right answer.
Me: (Out loud) THAT CROSSED THE LINE BETWEEN IRONIC COINCIDENCE TO EVIL OMEN!
Professor: Can someone tell me what is the first rule of lab? (btw, the first rule is to always wear goggles)
Me: (raises hand)
Me: NEVER LICK THE SPOON!
Professor: Can someone tell me what the is the problem with solving this function of x?
Me: Yeah–there is an x in it.
(On a handout to state our computer skills) Me: (wrote) I am stark dumb. Call 9-1-1, dial S.O.S.; Someone call the idiot police because I think you just found one.
Zeena: …Hi my name is Zeena (pronounced ‘Zina’)
Me: Your name is WHAT?????
Man: …So what do you think? Do you think you will get a university meal plan?
Me: Well, for religious reasons, I have dietary restrictions of half the food on campus. As for the other half, half of that half is crap.
(All these people broke out laughing)
Man: Hey! We have some nutrition conscious food! I will give you a personal tour myself.
Me: …Sure, but I can’t eat anything until next week anyways (due to Ramadan). If I may ask, who are you?
(Everyone is still laughing)
Man: Oh my name is *****, I am the head coordinator of food and catering at this university.