بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

Assalamu Alaikum,

I was at Taraweeh and when I was praying, a women’s shawl (the woman in front of me) kept smacking my face after getting up from ruku. Then later coming home, I came up with these new rules, hijabi edition. You are allowed to disagree and or comment– =)

***Excuse my terrible grammar. It is 2:30 in the morning and I desperately want mango kulfi.***

**These may be more serious than humorous, but I am still listing it in humor**

1. Polka dot hijabs were so 90s.

2. No short sleeves or mini skirts (or other skin exposure, save face, hands and feet) with a hijab.

3. No ‘accidental’ bangs hanging from the hijab (that happens to have highlights and not a single strand out of place) [also known as hijab malfunction] Read the rest of this entry »

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

Assalamu Alaikum,

I have been writing a list of new rules (not inspired by Bill Maher’s new rules, but similar concept) and I think some of them are worthy to share with the world. I believe there is some wisdom in them, (HAHA) but also take them with a few grains of salt.

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From the Desk of Faith786, future Dictator 4 Life and Emperor of the Free World:

1. Chai is a new food group (FDA under Faith786) and is recommended to have 1-3 servings a day.

2. Dissecting animals before your second year of medical school (i.e. in high schools or first year bio labs) should be outlawed. No one really learns anything in those classes if it is not their field of academic interest and it is killing innocent life for a grade. Cut class, not frogs.

3. There should be an international “Taubah” hour in which every single person in the world must sit still and think. This might actually solve some world problems.

4. To save valuable air time, news outlets should only report if someone came up with a SOLUTION to a problem.

5. You cannot be on the board of any masjid unless you actually help clean up the masjid on a weekly basis (taking a lesson from Hindu temples).

6. All reality tv shows should stop being aired for being completely unrealistic, stupid, not entertaining and providing absolutely no progress for the human condition. At least the Simpsons point out social problems; reality tv just makes people do stupid things to embarrass themselves for money.

7. Mcdonalds is not food. It is a heart attack in a bun. Read the rest of this entry »

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

Assalamu Alaikum,

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I have not been able to sleep properly these past few days and I realize that I come up with some of the weirdest questions in bed. So I decided to list a few here and I may add more to this list later–>

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-Why do people look around after they finish praying? I mean, right after it ends, everyone looks at each other and I am wondering if the person in front of me is trying to ask if I noticed her khoshoo in prayer or something….

-Why are there explosions in Star Wars when there is no oxygen in space? And how do you hear the laser blasts? And how do light sabers only stay a specific length? Doesn’t light go all the way until it hits an obstruction? Read the rest of this entry »