10.31.09

Funny General Chemistry Moments Part 2

Posted in Chemistry, Humor at 4:56 pm by faith786

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

Assalamu Alaikum,

I guess this is becoming a series just because I am bored in the computer lab and I am procrastinating my CIS homework. These moments can be slightly misquoted due to Faith786’s bad memory.

Some funny gen chem moments: Read the rest of this entry »

09.24.09

Funny General Chemistry Moments #1

Posted in Chemistry, Humor at 9:27 am by faith786

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

Assalamu Alaikum,

I am such a silly mood right now because I just found out I have this HUGE project assigned… ahh I forgot the intricacies of the academic world in the past year…. This post is particularly dedicated to Spiderman, who will never learn to appreciate or even simply learn chemistry. (But I will teach you how to balance an equation, insha’ Allah)

I don’t know if this will become a series, but I HAD to put this up–

My chemistry professor put some links on our chemistry webpage to some articles that explain concepts from class. I saw this photo and I broke out laughing in the middle of the computer lab: Read the rest of this entry »

09.22.09

Questions that Keep Faith786 up at Night (Science Edition)

Posted in Chemistry, Humor, Social Commentary at 12:04 pm by faith786

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

Assalamu Alaikum,

I have been reading my chemistry book, Raphael, and it prompted me to type this post. I apologize to people who are sick of my chemistry rants, but I can’t help myself. It is what I love amongst many other things such as literature, mango kulfi, ice cream, theology, cheesy chemistry lines, and biking….

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Why are raindrops depicited with a pointy tip on top? They fall as spheres and you don’t see bubbles going to the surface with pointy bottoms….

Who the HELL came up with the name Yttrium? How do you even say that?

Why are the lab room floors cleaner than the hallway floors right outside of it? Read the rest of this entry »

09.13.09

Birthday Post from Spiderman

Posted in Faith786's Favorites, Humor at 4:43 pm by faith786

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

Assalamu Alaikum,

Today is an international holiday as it is my birthday–say what???

So I offered spiderman if she would like to write something up for my blog and I received this in my e-mail. (Present#5 for anyone counting at home….) My comments are in bold and italics:

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Asalamualaikum people of earth and Mexico*, [I love how Mexico is capitalized and earth is not....]
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I’d like to inform every single one of you readers out there that today is Faith 786’s special day. That’s right, her wedding. [That would be the gunshot heard around the world...the bullet that killed the potential man XD.] JK, its her birthday. Before I begin, let me give you a brief description of how Faith 786 was born. She was born in the hallways of IFS. [HAHA. I actually had my Aqiqah there....] Yes, the very same hallways we would walk on each and everyday. She was actually delivered by an IFS teacher, no names shall be named. She was then dropped from the woman’s masjid area all the way down to the men’s section; which is actually quite a fall. Enough said. [THERE WAS NO IFS MASJID AT THAT TIME YOU IDIOT! But my brother used to drop me quite a bit as a baby... that is true.]
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Jokes aside, you are awesome. You are a total goober and that’s what makes you so special. You really rock my world and I’m extremely grateful to have you as my friend. I know you’re going to be a great chemistry teacher, and I know whatever you do in life, and where ever you go, you’ll do wonderful and put a smile on every ones face.
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Inshallah Allah (swt) will give you the best in this world and the next, and I hope every year of your life will bring you happiness. [Aww....]
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Have a great birthday, you big ** year old Granny! [Who is YOUR Grandma? I censored out the number because I don't want reveal my full birthday....]
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Love,
Spiderman <3
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*= I am not suggesting Mexicans are aliens.
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…Stupid wordpress is acting up, so I had to add the dashes.

09.06.09

Pathetic Chemistry Lines *Updated 9/20/09*

Posted in Chemistry, Humor at 2:54 pm by faith786

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

Assalamu Alaikum,

This is for spiderman so that way she can stop harping on me. I don’t have many lines right now, but I will try to add to it later. Most of the lines I found either were too racy or were too loaded with chemistry jargon. And I would like to put a disclaimer that I don’t believe in pick up lines nor do I have any interest in getting into any form of that kind of relationship. But I am really tired and delirious, so this post came to be. I still didn’t finish my lab report AND IT HAS ONLY BEEN ONE WEEK OF SCHOOL.

Pick up lines Read the rest of this entry »

08.30.09

A Letter to Muslim Chicks, Feminazis, Convertible Tops, Teenagers, and H**jabis

Posted in Character, Epiphanies, Faith786's Favorites, Hadith, Humor, Islam, Knowledge, Social Commentary, Social Justice, Taqwa, Tazkiyah at 12:40 am by faith786

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

Assalamu Alaikum,

—

This letter has been on my mind to write, for I have been exasperated by the sheer lunacy of Muslim women trying to ‘liberate’ or ‘improve’ the view of women in Islam and the other group of women who let people trample on their rights. I am no scholar or jurist, but it is about time someone stands up and addresses this issue head on. This letter is in no way politically correct, as to avoid taking away the meaning of my message. If you cannot handle it, get out of the oven. If you have comments or remarks, you can comment in a rational and logical manner. This is just a rough draft, so the grammar may be horrendous and I may improve on it later. Otherwise, read, contemplate and even enjoy:

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From the Desk of Faith786, future Dictator 4 Life and Emperor of the Free World:

Dear Muslim Chicks, Feminazis, Convertible Tops, Teenagers, and H**jabis,

I hope this letter reaches you in the best of Iman and health. I have more doubts in the latter than the former as some of you overindulge in eating or starve yourselves and completely neglect exercise. And some of your dietary habits are appalling. I won’t even take a shot that you probably condemn women who cook, and then you will go home to a freshly cooked meal by your mother. Read the rest of this entry »

08.29.09

Faith786’s New Rules (Hijabi Edition)

Posted in Humor, Social Commentary at 2:54 am by faith786

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

Assalamu Alaikum,

I was at Taraweeh and when I was praying, a women’s shawl (the woman in front of me) kept smacking my face after getting up from ruku. Then later coming home, I came up with these new rules, hijabi edition. You are allowed to disagree and or comment– =)

***Excuse my terrible grammar. It is 2:30 in the morning and I desperately want mango kulfi.***

**These may be more serious than humorous, but I am still listing it in humor**

1. Polka dot hijabs were so 90s.

2. No short sleeves or mini skirts (or other skin exposure, save face, hands and feet) with a hijab.

3. No ‘accidental’ bangs hanging from the hijab (that happens to have highlights and not a single strand out of place) [also known as hijab malfunction] Read the rest of this entry »

08.11.09

Faith786’s New Rules

Posted in Humor, Social Commentary at 9:35 am by faith786

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

Assalamu Alaikum,

I have been writing a list of new rules (not inspired by Bill Maher’s new rules, but similar concept) and I think some of them are worthy to share with the world. I believe there is some wisdom in them, (HAHA) but also take them with a few grains of salt.

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From the Desk of Faith786, future Dictator 4 Life and Emperor of the Free World:

1. Chai is a new food group (FDA under Faith786) and is recommended to have 1-3 servings a day.

2. Dissecting animals before your second year of medical school (i.e. in high schools or first year bio labs) should be outlawed. No one really learns anything in those classes if it is not their field of academic interest and it is killing innocent life for a grade. Cut class, not frogs.

3. There should be an international “Taubah” hour in which every single person in the world must sit still and think. This might actually solve some world problems.

4. To save valuable air time, news outlets should only report if someone came up with a SOLUTION to a problem.

5. You cannot be on the board of any masjid unless you actually help clean up the masjid on a weekly basis (taking a lesson from Hindu temples).

6. All reality tv shows should stop being aired for being completely unrealistic, stupid, not entertaining and providing absolutely no progress for the human condition. At least the Simpsons point out social problems; reality tv just makes people do stupid things to embarrass themselves for money.

7. Mcdonalds is not food. It is a heart attack in a bun. Read the rest of this entry »

08.06.09

Questions that keep Faith786 up at night

Posted in Humor, Social Commentary at 3:41 am by faith786

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

Assalamu Alaikum,

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I have not been able to sleep properly these past few days and I realize that I come up with some of the weirdest questions in bed. So I decided to list a few here and I may add more to this list later–>

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-Why do people look around after they finish praying? I mean, right after it ends, everyone looks at each other and I am wondering if the person in front of me is trying to ask if I noticed her khoshoo in prayer or something….

-Why are there explosions in Star Wars when there is no oxygen in space? And how do you hear the laser blasts? And how do light sabers only stay a specific length? Doesn’t light go all the way until it hits an obstruction? Read the rest of this entry »

07.17.09

Cynical Quotes

Posted in Humor, Quotes, Social Commentary at 12:37 am by faith786

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

Assalamu Alaikum,

I am in a cynical mood tonight, so I decided to put a few cynical quotes, none of them are by me:

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“In a cruel and evil world, being cynical can allow you to get some entertainment out of it.”

“If you’re too open-minded, your brains will fall out.”

“Don’t worry about what people think; they don’t do it very often.”

“Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian, any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.” Read the rest of this entry »

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