July 9, 2010

Calculus II Quotes Part II

Posted in Humor, Quotes at 10:51 pm by faith786

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

Assalamu Alaikum,

I dug out some more from my notebook:

—”Behind closed doors of my office, I would skip the whole procedure by ignoring the plus 2.”

—”Math is a very cruel and harsh mistress. She is very hard to please.”

(Awkward.)

—”Zeno (mathematician) is a prankster. He is the guy at cocktail parties you would see and go the other way because you knew he was going to ask you a pain in the ass question.”

—”In the answer key the answer is written as log x plus 2 over x minus 3. {log[(x+2)/(x-3)]} You see, when math professors get bored by the pool, they like to mess around with their final answer by simplifyin’ it or moving things around.

—”With imporper integrals, we’re gonna throw infinity around as if it is a number.” Read the rest of this entry »

Calculus II Quotes

Posted in Humor, Quotes at 9:51 pm by faith786

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

Assalamu Alaikum,

I am losing my mind in calculus II this summer, but in my current adventure, I have recorded quotes from my professor because I think they are hilarious or down right awkward:

(FYI for non math people: integrals are a type of math problem to solve for. Function is like an equation y=3x is a function. [Although I get crazier ones.]

—”This is a blue collar math course–I want you to be able to walk out and be able to solve problems.”

—”The advantage of a summer session is that they are finite. It will end in seven weeks. Disadvantage is, you have to work hard those seven weeks.

(No, really?)

—”There are no ugly babies, no ugly numbers, no ugly functions. God made them all beautiful in their own way.” Read the rest of this entry »

July 8, 2010

Hilarious Photos

Posted in Humor at 8:59 am by faith786

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

Assalamu Alaikum,

I have had this in my draft box for the longest time and this is just for humor. I do not promote gender, race, culture, or religion bashing, but this is just to cheer things up as life has been a little down lately. So here are some interesting pictures: Read the rest of this entry »

May 26, 2010

Lessons from Finals

Posted in Humor, Social Commentary at 1:11 pm by faith786

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

Assalamu Alaikum!

This was inspired after someone told me my grades. (Note, I didn’t find them out–someone told them to me.)

Lessons from Finals:

—Finals time bring out the best in people and the worst in people.

—When reading my notes, the most important things are somehow written the messiest or are straight up illegible.

—The more I studied, the less certain I became about what the answer is or what answer my professor wants.

—”If you have an open book final, you’ll lose your book. If you have a take home test, you’ll forget where you live.”

—During finals, you can eat absolute garbage and still lose weight.

—Or the opposite my occur–you may not eat anything at all and still gain weight. Read the rest of this entry »

May 11, 2010

Chemistry at 3 AM

Posted in Chemistry, Epiphanies, Humor, Quotes at 11:44 pm by faith786

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

Assalamu Alaikum,

This deserved its own post because I don’t know if it is funny, profound, both or neither but something to think about:

I was reading chemistry one night at 3 AM for about two hours (until 5 AM) and then it hit me and I wrote it on a poster–

After reading chemistry for two hours at 3 AM, I learned only one thing: It is never too late to tell the people who you love how much you care about them.

January 3, 2010

Why Faith786 Would Make a Bad Christian

Posted in Humor, Social Commentary at 12:13 am by faith786

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

Assalamu Alaikum,

I don’t know if I should have included ‘Bismillah’ in this post because of the cracked out content in this post, but as in the words of someone I know, “If I were to rob a bank, I would still say ‘Bismillah’ before trying to break in.”

Anyway, I am slightly exasperated that random people at my school are attempting to convert me to Christianity, consciously aware that I wear a head scarf, I pray, fast and go to the masjid. So I figured instead of trying to tell people that ‘you should not want to convert me to Christianity because I am perfectly happy and content being Muslim’ but instead that they should see that I would make such a bad Christian. So here is the list of why Faith786 would be such a bad Christian (for humor pruposes only):

—For communion, the week I would have to make the bread I would totally burn it.

—For communion: I would accidentally drop the bread while it is going around. Read the rest of this entry »

December 17, 2009

What Faith786 Learned in General Chemistry Semester I

Posted in Chemistry, Humor at 12:07 am by faith786

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

Assalamu Alaikum,

I have come up with a list of things I learned in general chemistry this semester. If I remember more, I’ll add on to this list:

Faith786′s General Chemistry lessons:

—Turn off the heat plate after heating oil to 500+ degrees C.
—Make sure the water in the bulb and buret are equal or else water will shoot out one end, typically the one closer to me.
—A cat can only give birth to one kitten. Not a half a kitten, not an eighth of a kitten, one whole kitten. (In reference to quantum)
—There is a difference between hydrochloric and chloric acid. (HCl and HClO3)
—There is no ideal liquid or solid law… yet.
—Turn the gas off. Read the rest of this entry »

October 31, 2009

Funny General Chemistry Moments Part 2

Posted in Chemistry, Humor at 4:56 pm by faith786

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

Assalamu Alaikum,

I guess this is becoming a series just because I am bored in the computer lab and I am procrastinating my CIS homework. These moments can be slightly misquoted due to Faith786′s bad memory.

Some funny gen chem moments: Read the rest of this entry »

September 24, 2009

Funny General Chemistry Moments #1

Posted in Chemistry, Humor at 9:27 am by faith786

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

Assalamu Alaikum,

I am such a silly mood right now because I just found out I have this HUGE project assigned… ahh I forgot the intricacies of the academic world in the past year…. This post is particularly dedicated to Spiderman, who will never learn to appreciate or even simply learn chemistry. (But I will teach you how to balance an equation, insha’ Allah)

I don’t know if this will become a series, but I HAD to put this up–

My chemistry professor put some links on our chemistry webpage to some articles that explain concepts from class. I saw this photo and I broke out laughing in the middle of the computer lab: Read the rest of this entry »

September 22, 2009

Questions that Keep Faith786 up at Night (Science Edition)

Posted in Chemistry, Humor, Social Commentary at 12:04 pm by faith786

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

Assalamu Alaikum,

I have been reading my chemistry book, Raphael, and it prompted me to type this post. I apologize to people who are sick of my chemistry rants, but I can’t help myself. It is what I love amongst many other things such as literature, mango kulfi, ice cream, theology, cheesy chemistry lines, and biking….

Why are raindrops depicited with a pointy tip on top? They fall as spheres and you don’t see bubbles going to the surface with pointy bottoms….

Who the HELL came up with the name Yttrium? How do you even say that?

Why are the lab room floors cleaner than the hallway floors right outside of it? Read the rest of this entry »

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